PS - Internship

In other news, I am now a intern at the Seattle Metropolitan magazine, from this morning. I start Tuesday morning.

I like everything about it - the Portland magazine, the focus on writing and researching, the nice man who interviewed me, the pretty old building.

And the magazine is launching, which makes it even more exciting and scary.

I know I've been taken on solely for the history issue, but my hope is to try to make myself useful enough that I can work on more general, long-term aspects of the magazine. I'm not getting my hopes up, though.

I didn't get my hopes up about the interview, but I got the job. Other things that helped were the comforting presence of Liz and Greg in the conference room, and my stolen Harry Potter watch.

Unrequited love is the only kind that lasts.

But can it be love if you don't even know him? Of course not. It's not love, it's worse - it's a pathetic, debilitating, overpowering teenage crush.

Here's the story so far: girl sees boy. Girl notes idly that boy bears odd resemblance to well-known fictional character. Girl chuckles. Girl notices nothing unusual.

Girl begins to note how boy has thick dark hair, rosy cheeks and an intruiging personality. Girl starts sneaking sly glances at boy.

Girl tells friend about boy. Girl then notices that boy is not as quiet as originally thought. Girl observes boy's adorable smile, ready laugh and friendly demeanor.

Girl looks boy up on facebook, the UW people search, and Google.

Results disappoint.

Girl sits on bus, staring out the window, having fantasies about boy. Girl meets boy's parents. Boy puts arm around girl in movie theater. Boy and girl ice skate - surprisingly well. Boy and girl snuggle by generic fireplace, arms intertwined, talking late into the night.

Girl sees boy standing at one set of doors and promptly decides to use the other set.

Girl notes boy coming towards the building and hightails it out the other end.

Girl is sitting around, reading, feeling pretty good. Boy enters and immediately girl feels an ache in the general area of her chest. Girl feels very down, and keeps her eyes on the book.

Girl writes blog about boy.

He's so close - frustratingly so - all the time. But more significantly, he's very far away.

He's in another social set which I have made no effort to infiltrate. Do I try, merely for the sake of boy?

Do I take a time-consuming risk for someone I don't even know?

Do I do nothing, consigning myself to fantasy and regrets?

I know I can't talk to him without blushing. Quite aside from any attempt at flirting, I make every effort to appear invisible when he's in the room.

I'm not being melodramatic - I'm being honest. I don't think about him all the time; it's not that bad. But when I do, my thoughts are rather strong. And given I'm so picky about guys, shooting way above my attractiveness level, discounting most based on looks, personality, or both (or the fact that they aren't Mr Darcy), finding that I like and want one is startling.

Damn it! Why!

"A mighty pain to love it is,And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;But of all pains, the greatest painIt is to love, but love in vain."

Int